Best One Liners from Claims forms

MCE Insurance

As the UK's No.1 motorcycle insurer, we at MCE have seen and heard through the UK motorcycle grapevine many stories of bikers' claims that raise a smile and the odd chuckle. Here are a few of the funniest we can recall:

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."

"I bumped into a lamp- post which was obscured by pedestrians."

"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early..."

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn.
Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my bike and vanished."

"Coming home I rode into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my helmet found that I had a fractured skull."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

09.04.2012 - Emma Westley

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